Let me ask you a question – why do you want what you want?
Now this isn’t “what’s your why?” it’s “why is it your why?”
We live in a world that glamorises over-achieving – action, busyness, constantly striving for what we think we need - because we think that once we get it – we’ll feel more fulfilled, validated or worthy. We're led to believe, that being in our masculine energy is what's needed to sell, succeed and make moves. Being in our feminine energy is often seen as a negative thing that holds us back and keeps us from being assertive or asking for what we want. (We all have both energies within us whether we're male or female!)
This leads to overwhelm, burnout and a constant feeling of not being good enough. And where does that get you? You’ve guessed it. One thing I've learned along the way that has totally shifted both my success mindset and my self worth - is that being in my feminine, accepting that that's the dominant part of me and embracing all of the amazing things that come with it, has been freeing, accelerating and transformational. The real winner is balancing both the masculine and feminine, and using them as an amazing energetic tag team to lead you to success!
What if instead of constantly trying to achieve what you think you should want in the ways you think you should – you started to get clear on what you do want and focused on that instead?
I started to use this strategy in my own business and it absolutely blew me away.
You see, my goals were like my beliefs at the time – passed down to me by other people. So, in a way – they became “limiting goals”. And the truth is – just like those beliefs – I really didn’t want them. I was striving toward things I thought I should want – things I thought I should have - to be successful or respected. I took others' measurements of success as a benchmark, and loaded it all
onto a vision board that had zero emotional charge each time I looked at it. I thought the problem was me, that something was missing in me - but then... It came to me that what I actually wanted, was the feeling attached to those goals. I wanted to feel validated, seen, admired, respected – all of the things my wounded inner child was starved of – and I suppose in a way, I convinced myself that by striving for what I thought success looked like - I would create those things for her.
And that’s when it hit me – I realised I wasn’t creating at all. I was seeking. I was setting impossible standards for myself in pursuit of gaining outside validation and goals that didn't connect with my actual dreams. Why was that?
It takes a lot of deep inner work to figure out what we want – because, as humans, we automatically go to what we don’t want. How we don’t want to feel. What we don’t want to do. We're wired that way. When you really go deep into the healing and energetics side of things, you'll find that even though it's scary at first - it makes you brave. It gives you the courage to stand out from the crowd and say - “I’m taking this in my own direction. I want this for me.”
This is how I realised that the things a successful entrepreneur should want – couldn’t have been any further from what I wanted – or needed. So, I let go of the expectation. I detached from the outcomes. I started to ask myself what I truly desired for me.
I started to talk more openly about my spirituality. I started finding the types of women I wanted to make an impact on and deciding what way I could serve them to make a real difference in both my life and theirs. I became the living embodiment of everything I wanted to create.
This meant embracing my real boho, spiritual self - floral dresses and all – and starting to actually see my feminine led energy as a good thing. I spent more time barefoot in the sand. I stopped posting photos of champagne and started visualising my true goal - to move near the water so I can watch the sunrise & drink coffee from my favourite cup – now that’s contentment.
Things started to change then. The feelings I was chasing came to me naturally, and I realised - they came so easily when I stopped going at these goals like a “to achieve” list and started planning my “how I want to feel” list instead. I started working with energetics and embodiment. This shizz worked. By balancing the energetics, the strategy and the embodiment of what I wanted to achieve, I became a magnet to everything I wanted - Alignment. Soulfulness. Contentment... I realised that
all I really want in this life is to feel fulfilment - however that looks.
So again, I’ll ask you – why do you want what you want? Why is it so important to you? What feeling are you chasing? And will the highlight reel lifestyle really bring it to you? I know for me – I find more happiness barefoot in the sea than I do sipping champagne in fancy restaurants.
Now that's not for everyone and I'm not saying you shouldn't want the champagne - I'm saying figure out what success and contentment looks like for you and make it your mission to create it. Feel into your soul goals and ask your self if you're in alignment with them. Are they goals that will bring you everything you're hoping for, or are they goals you think you should want because others in your industry have set the benchmark? When I answered that question honestly, it blew my mind. Not only that, it set about a catalyst for change. And I didn't look back.
How can you create a life you love from a place of alignment, embodiment and truth?
Check out my free resource library - it might help you to get started on rethinking those goals!